November 28, 2012

I should have known better than to write about something involving guns, not on Daily Kos, because the resident mob of armchair warfighters is always on hand to defend guns, any laws making it easier to shoot guns or to shoot people with guns, etc. Hell, there were even jerks sounding off about loud music in cars and about how they’d like to empty a shotgun into the car just to make it quiet.

I guess they have no idea how foolish that sounds, considering that may be exactly what happened — loud music pissing off some ass with a gun, to the point that he makes up a threat and empties his gun into the car and then bolts. But it’s the internet, and anywhere there are unmoderated comments, there will be garbage. Thankfully I maintain comment moderation here.

The reason stories like this bother me is, first of all, death. As a skeptic I do not have the luxury of some promised higher justice or a paradise afterlife or any form of karmic compensation whatsoever. Crimes like this happen, folks are dead, and there’s no fixing it. Life is precious to me because it is finite. It has value because it is limited. Immortality is what devalues life. I suppose it may be the concept of the immortal soul that allows Americans to devalue the lives they do have.

And yes, Dave, devaluing my own life, neglecting my health, I understood that, it has been a conscious choice. I considered it a slow suicide, like smoking. A decision to enjoy a shorter life more, rather than enjoy a longer one less. In the end, it was not enjoying the life I had that helped me to stop doing some of the things I’d been doing. I get that. Even now I am measuring the possibilities of enjoying the time I have, burning out slower, longer, vs. burning out fast and hot. Better to burn out than to fade away, eh Kurgan?

Anyway, it shouldn’t surprise me that even on a site full of liberals like DK that there’s so much casual dismissal in favor of whatever pet concepts mean more to them. There’s so much misery to report, even I can’t pay attention to it all. I only have so much in the way of time, resources and emotion to invest in this horrible world, and at the end of the day I also want to enjoy myself, if only a little. I don’t try to justify it by demeaning it, though.

Although around election day, I did grow a bit resentful of just how many folks were giving me such good reasons to give them money. There was no way I could help them all, either.

Ah well. I guess I’m not as callous and detached as I may seem. These blathering fools ought to cure me of that notion, but they probably won’t. Caring about folks dying over loud music, dying in general, just seems normal to me. At times I have to question that sense of normalcy. At times society disgusts me. Just another day, nothing special going on here.

Yeah, I know. My fellow liberals make me get my hopes up…and I shouldn’t let them. Pleasant surprise is a state towards which I aspire.


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