Ohio, backsliding?

June 18, 2012

The stuff they put on Daily Kos these days.

Earlier this month, in the letters to the editor section of the Findlay (Ohio) Courier, this gem ran:

Something in the “Just Ask” column (Page A3, May 29) disturbed me. According to the column, “the Ohio buckeye, Aesculus glabra, bears flowers with both male and female organs on the same tree. It is a monoecious species.”

I couldn’t believe this, so I did some research and, sure enough, a science website (forestry.about.com) states that “the Ohio buckeye is polygamo-monoecious, bearing both bisexual and male flowers.”

The buckeye is our state tree and most of us gladly wear the nickname, “buckeyes.” But it is shameful and unacceptable that a bisexual tree should represent us! We are flaunting the Holy Bible!

Yes, they are certainly flaunting that bible, it is the sexay, in that tight leather catsuit of a cover and…ok, I am just making fun of the writer’s lack of English comprehension. Moving on. I can only imagine how a good American bible-believing species of tree reproduces. Missionary style for a tree, usually means it’s dead, right?

He’s right though, don’t flaunt that bible. Especially in some parts of Ohio. I mean it borders on West Virginia in parts. Anyway, make sure to call any Ohioan conservatives Buckeyes with a grin.

Does anyone know if carnations are bisexual?

Jim Flechtner, Findlay

Mom being the gardener magistra could probably tell me about the birds, bees and carnations, but I looked it up

A single carnation plant has both male and female reproductive organs, allowing them to self-pollinate and form seeds. The male organ, or stamen, is covered in pollen. Insects and sometimes birds pick up this pollen and transfer it to the female part of the flower called the pistil in the course of feeding. Carnations require pollinators with long proboscises as their flowers are deep, making access to the pistil difficult for smaller insects. After successful pollination is achieved, the flower begins to die off and the seed head matures.

Ok, so it’s also self-pollinating but it does require a long proboscis. There’s something to be proud of, eh?

(resisting the urge to look up some pictures)

Anyway, at least in my net-searching I can find that the letter was satirical. There is some hope for Ohio.  🙂


One comment

  1. I hope Christians in Ohio won’t have a mental breakdown over their bisexual satanic trees.

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