November 12, 2010

Evidence in favor of the biblical god? Perhaps! This was the opening remark of the concession speech of one Jesse Kelly, a conservative tea party nutbag who ran against one of our local representatives, Gabrielle Giffords, and nearly beat her.

I would like to thank our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, my wife Aubrey, who has been by my side this entire time, my family, for their unwavering support, and the thousands of warriors who fought with me in this campaign.

I am tempted to thank Jesus as well for making Jesse Kelly a loser, heh. It is merely ironic that he can use the term sanity. Worse still, that he nearly won. I don’t like Giffords that much anyway — she waxes conservative, she’s in a more conservative district than mine, and I would have to hold my nose to vote for her — and even so, the ‘red wave’ almost got her. My own representative, too, although Grijalva won a bit easier.

As a tea partier, Kelly campaigned for cuts in education, called Medicare a Ponzi scheme, wanted to replace (vaguely, now) progressive income taxes with regressive sales taxes, and took a principled stand on abortion to force even victims of rape and incest to carry to term. His own list of issues makes it fairly simple to comprehend the extreme conservatism he espoused.

Not that he would have to worry much about helping the GOP reduce the majority of the population to serfdom; he has his father’s family business to return to, and it wouldn’t surprise me if the right wing hands him a salary and makes further use of him in the future.

Better luck next time, pal.


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